What Did You Say?

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God.” – Ephesians 4:29-30

Disapproval can be costly and has the potential to seep undetected and infect our relationships. From simple things such as how someone completes a task that doesn’t meet our expectations, to looks and attitudes of general displeasure with those around us, over time, disapproval can cause irreparable harm to our relationships. If we are not careful, over time, disapproval can completely destroy them.

Deep sighs, rolling our eyes, shaking our heads, and withdrawing warmth in our own attitudes all convey annoyance when our expectations have not been met in the way we desire. No one is perfect. There will be times when issues are important to discuss – but at the right time and in the right way. It’s the issues that aren’t so important that stem from our need to control are the ones that often cause the biggest blowups.

Friends, may we allow God’s wisdom to guide us in being aware of when we are projecting disapproval. Left unchecked, it can have unintended consequences. We must listen to our words as we interact with others. Paying attention to what our non-verbal cues are portraying. We should practice asking God to help us understand the needs of the other person and then consider those before our own. This is not easy, yet when disapproval has become a cycle in our relationships, it needs to be broken. It is up to us to take the first step and choose to be a builder.

Heavenly Father, Please forgive me for grieving You with the negativity I can too easily portray. Help me to hold my tongue when I want to be accusing or defensive. Help me to choose communication, both verbal and through my actions, that build up the relationships I want to cultivate. Help my own defenses to come down as I allow You to work in me to dissolve disapproval in my responses. Thank You that Your power is available to me to choose to be a builder. When issues do need to be addressed, please help me to do it in a wise and loving way that is pleasing to You. Thank You for Your wisdom. In Jesus’ precious and holy name, I pray, Amen.

The Challenge…

Listen to your words today. Pay attention to the non-verbal cues you are giving. Be honest with yourself and choose to derail disapproval before it derails you. If disapproval has become an issue in your relationships, ask a trusted Christian friend to pray with and walk with you through this with the help of the Holy Spirit.

Sent by tonydegruy@comcast.net 


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